No Expectation = No Disappointment

In her 1853 novel, Villette, English author, Charlotte Brontë, scribed “Life is so constructed that the event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.” This illuminating statement serves as the basis for my musing today.

During my six-plus decades on the third planet from the Sun, I have experienced my fair share of disappointment. These setbacks have touched every aspect of my personal and professional life. I have been disappointed in relationships, love, activities, jobs, athletics, and more endeavors to recount.

Though the sources of these disappointments have been varied, they all share one common denominator: Expectation. That is, each resulted from a failure to meet an expectation I emplaced as either a mindful or subconscious measurement of pleasure I sought to achieve from my expectation. The key to note, of course, is the admission I emplaced the preconceived contentment barometer.

Recently, this penchant for an expected sense of derived happiness from an act I bestowed on a good friend failed to materialize leaving me with a sense of dissatisfaction. My friend was grateful, mind you, just not to the degree I anticipated nor expected she would be.

Thus, for me, an act of kindness resulted in a sense of disenchantment. My friend, - ever the astute reader of body language and energy level shifts - quickly sensed this marked change in my demeanor, and regrettably, her expression of appreciation morphed into one of frustration.

Her grievance was fleeting though, and she quickly shifted from feeling like a jilted colleague to embracing the role of a helpful coach. Her advice, a take on the Brontë quote, was simple yet reflective -in part, lose the expectation and you will never find the disappointment. Practical yet profound.

I have since embraced this mantra and while my expectations are fewer, so too, are my disappointments. I recommend you give it a shot. No expectations on my part, but I doubt you will be disappointed.

- George